I'm sad to inform that cancer took away yet another one of my family members today. My loving Aunt Nancy...I never even got to say good bye.
I'm trying to imagine her up in heaven now. I bet she's surrounded by loved ones and the scent of pine; her favorite smell in the world.
I bet there is Betty Boop all over the place because she loves Betty Boop..maybe she even met the REAL Betty Boop. if there is a real one.
I would say rest in peace aunt Nancy. but I guarantee she is not resting. she's up there chatting away and loving every second of it.
She's probably eating some grill cheese too. her favorite food in the world. when she opened the gates to heaven I bet they had some right on a plate waiting for her. I hope she enjoyed it. I know she probably did.
whatever she's doing up there, I hope she's having fun.
I know she's in a better place. I know she's reunited with so many people she loves. but I can't shake the fact that she's gone. and cancer, of all things, had to take her.
aunt Nancy, if you're out there I miss you. I'm sorry I never got the chance to say good bye.
I love you.
She is like Juliet...without the whole Romeo part
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Winter goals
as we slowly decsend into the winter months everything starts to go downhill. why can't life always be summer?
sometimes at night when I cant fall asleep I lay and dream about summer. walking down our long windy road bare foot with shanna..our destination usually the little kid park where we jump the fense to get in.
or meteor showers with Michael my cousin..laying outside on the ground all night just to watch as stars fall out of the sky and we make wishes for better things..for our amazing dreams..on every single one.
or hanging out with Rachel and Kelly. sitting on their back porch jamming out to Lizzie mcquire music, laughing, painting out nails, hanging out with the fuzzies (kitties) and laughing at teetee meowing at us. and hanging out in the vineyard walking around edgartown with aj singing if I was a rich girl, and pointing out cute guys on south beach.
or going to the beach with bridgit and Maeve..laughing at mike the lifeguard making goofy faces at us and swimming out to the dock just so we can lay there and sun tan.
or going to starbucks with Macy then sneaking our Carmel fraps into the movie theatre under our jackets without the movie employees seeing us.
or hanging in the basement with Chloe..straitening out hair and taking funny pictures then jumping in the 60 degree pool only to jump right back out and take hot showers.
YEAHHH..summers a blast. it's like you can escape the cold winter hibernation cave where you hide yourself and all that is happy for you. it's all just short shorts, hot guys, the sun, and bikinis. there's no worries about being judged. being yourself is easy. now that winter is upon us I'm scared to go in that dark cave where I can't find myself or what I want out of my winter. so I'm gonna set some goals for myself right now
2011/2012 winter goals for Nathalie:
always finding one positive thing in bad situations
always having a smile on my face when I'm with people I love
never doubting god or anything he has planned
and ALWAYS being myself!!(:
talk to you guys later xoxo
sometimes at night when I cant fall asleep I lay and dream about summer. walking down our long windy road bare foot with shanna..our destination usually the little kid park where we jump the fense to get in.
or meteor showers with Michael my cousin..laying outside on the ground all night just to watch as stars fall out of the sky and we make wishes for better things..for our amazing dreams..on every single one.
or hanging out with Rachel and Kelly. sitting on their back porch jamming out to Lizzie mcquire music, laughing, painting out nails, hanging out with the fuzzies (kitties) and laughing at teetee meowing at us. and hanging out in the vineyard walking around edgartown with aj singing if I was a rich girl, and pointing out cute guys on south beach.
or going to the beach with bridgit and Maeve..laughing at mike the lifeguard making goofy faces at us and swimming out to the dock just so we can lay there and sun tan.
or going to starbucks with Macy then sneaking our Carmel fraps into the movie theatre under our jackets without the movie employees seeing us.
or hanging in the basement with Chloe..straitening out hair and taking funny pictures then jumping in the 60 degree pool only to jump right back out and take hot showers.
YEAHHH..summers a blast. it's like you can escape the cold winter hibernation cave where you hide yourself and all that is happy for you. it's all just short shorts, hot guys, the sun, and bikinis. there's no worries about being judged. being yourself is easy. now that winter is upon us I'm scared to go in that dark cave where I can't find myself or what I want out of my winter. so I'm gonna set some goals for myself right now
2011/2012 winter goals for Nathalie:
always finding one positive thing in bad situations
always having a smile on my face when I'm with people I love
never doubting god or anything he has planned
and ALWAYS being myself!!(:
talk to you guys later xoxo
Bear with this post...even if it's sad
Hey guys...
today i was informed about something that makes me feel awful inside. horrible. it makes me sick to think about it.
my great aunt has stomach cancer.
you might be thinking OOOHOOO its just her great aunt big deal...
but it is a big deal. its a huge one. cancer likes to take away my family. and im so freaking sick of it.
in november of last year cancer took away my ganny. she was my wonderful grandma and facing life without her is still really tough sometimes. shortly after she died cancer took away my cousin. she left behind a husband and two children. i just want cancer to go away. i hate it.
this fall i participated in something amazing; relay for life. me and my mom raised over $600 and it went all the the cancer research fund. this is me and two of my friends there, and also the "luminarias" all lit up. they say '2011 HOPE'
also a really awesome thing for cancer that i participate in is the "LIVESTRONG" bands. they are these really awesome yellow wristbands that are put out my the Lance Armstrong foundation. the yellow symbolized living a long healthy happy life, and also to live it to the fullest. THESE BANDS ARE JUST $1!!! you should go get one now. theyre put out by nike so Dick's sporting goods has them...seriously. get one of these things. cancer is not something i want anybody to have to fight.
alright guys thanks for reading...and seriously get a livestrong band!! you'll love it:) talk to ya later
today i was informed about something that makes me feel awful inside. horrible. it makes me sick to think about it.
my great aunt has stomach cancer.
you might be thinking OOOHOOO its just her great aunt big deal...
but it is a big deal. its a huge one. cancer likes to take away my family. and im so freaking sick of it.
in november of last year cancer took away my ganny. she was my wonderful grandma and facing life without her is still really tough sometimes. shortly after she died cancer took away my cousin. she left behind a husband and two children. i just want cancer to go away. i hate it.
this fall i participated in something amazing; relay for life. me and my mom raised over $600 and it went all the the cancer research fund. this is me and two of my friends there, and also the "luminarias" all lit up. they say '2011 HOPE'
Sunday, December 11, 2011
welcome to my life
now that I've introduced you all (as in "you all" plural for my three readers, one of them being Rachel) to myself you are now part of mi familia. so. HAYY.
so when I write this blog I feel like I'm talking to myself. it's sort of fun..I uh..guess. PSHHH cause I SOOO don't talk to myself outside of this blog. oh no. not nathalie the great. she's too sane for that. right?! WRONG!!!
so I wanna tell you I just got done re-reading the book 13 reasons why by jay Asher. I really recromend it to anyone who likes to read. the first time I read this book, it gave me a whole different perspective on how I see the world, and how other people see me. I never really thought about how important life is and how easy it can be taken away. even by yourself. in this book a girl named Hannah baker takes her life away by over dozing on pills. basically the book is the story of why she did it, but Asher put an amazing twist on it. read it to find out more.
I think it's horrible that people actually go through with it and take their lives away. I don't care what your reason is, but you are important to someone. and taking your life away does not help make everything better. believe me. and if you're gay, if nobody likes you, if everyone around you has died, work hard. use what you HAVE to make life worth it. don't count the days, count what YOU have put into them. you are worth so much when you're alive, once you're dead you arent worth anything. you're nothing. you're everything now.
SO this post is in memory of anyone who has ever taken their life away on purpose. my heart goes out to the family's of all of them. I'm sure they are partying in heaven :)
alright guys!!! so read thirteen reasons why it's HIGHLY recromended!! also, actually there is no also so in a while crocodile (;
so when I write this blog I feel like I'm talking to myself. it's sort of fun..I uh..guess. PSHHH cause I SOOO don't talk to myself outside of this blog. oh no. not nathalie the great. she's too sane for that. right?! WRONG!!!
so I wanna tell you I just got done re-reading the book 13 reasons why by jay Asher. I really recromend it to anyone who likes to read. the first time I read this book, it gave me a whole different perspective on how I see the world, and how other people see me. I never really thought about how important life is and how easy it can be taken away. even by yourself. in this book a girl named Hannah baker takes her life away by over dozing on pills. basically the book is the story of why she did it, but Asher put an amazing twist on it. read it to find out more.
I think it's horrible that people actually go through with it and take their lives away. I don't care what your reason is, but you are important to someone. and taking your life away does not help make everything better. believe me. and if you're gay, if nobody likes you, if everyone around you has died, work hard. use what you HAVE to make life worth it. don't count the days, count what YOU have put into them. you are worth so much when you're alive, once you're dead you arent worth anything. you're nothing. you're everything now.
SO this post is in memory of anyone who has ever taken their life away on purpose. my heart goes out to the family's of all of them. I'm sure they are partying in heaven :)
alright guys!!! so read thirteen reasons why it's HIGHLY recromended!! also, actually there is no also so in a while crocodile (;
HAI DAIR
GUESS WHAT TODAY IS?!?!?!?!
its sunday sunday gotta get down on suday!!
no seriously.
today i woke up and i just had to go pee. so i went pee. and i came out here. and now im blogging to you guys. oh yeah. and im texting rachel. (HEYY RACHEL...if youre reading this check out her blog onceuponthiscrazylife.blogspot.com cause its pretty snazzy)
so i wanna talk to you guys about something. i wanna talk to you about a little girl(s) that is very important in my life. her name is emma. she has a disease called rett syndrome. it mostly affects girls. it deprives them of walking, talking, using their hands, and pretty much doing anything. on top of that they have seizures, and bad scoliosis. i cant even imagine the life five year old emmy lives. its all like OHHH SNAP no you DID NOT just do that rett syndrome. rett is a monster. it takes over a thousands of little girls and there is NO cure. imagine your daughter being born all happy and normal then BAMM one day the rett syndrome monster ATTACKS her and shes trapped and she cant get out!!!!!! what would you do??!! so help now people!!! go to girlpower2cure.org and make a donation orrrr go to a blog called http://www.braceletsforrett.blogspot.com/ and check out the really awesome bracelets and get one for just FOUR DOLLARS thats a deal people. dont let it pass before your pretty little green eyes.
do it for emma.
do it for all the other girls.
okay. girlpower2cure forever peeps!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihSGDY-mbhA&feature=youtu.be
or check out THAT^^ video its really awesome.
its sunday sunday gotta get down on suday!!
no seriously.
today i woke up and i just had to go pee. so i went pee. and i came out here. and now im blogging to you guys. oh yeah. and im texting rachel. (HEYY RACHEL...if youre reading this check out her blog onceuponthiscrazylife.blogspot.com cause its pretty snazzy)
so i wanna talk to you guys about something. i wanna talk to you about a little girl(s) that is very important in my life. her name is emma. she has a disease called rett syndrome. it mostly affects girls. it deprives them of walking, talking, using their hands, and pretty much doing anything. on top of that they have seizures, and bad scoliosis. i cant even imagine the life five year old emmy lives. its all like OHHH SNAP no you DID NOT just do that rett syndrome. rett is a monster. it takes over a thousands of little girls and there is NO cure. imagine your daughter being born all happy and normal then BAMM one day the rett syndrome monster ATTACKS her and shes trapped and she cant get out!!!!!! what would you do??!! so help now people!!! go to girlpower2cure.org and make a donation orrrr go to a blog called http://www.braceletsforrett.blogspot.com/ and check out the really awesome bracelets and get one for just FOUR DOLLARS thats a deal people. dont let it pass before your pretty little green eyes.
do it for emma.
do it for all the other girls.
okay. girlpower2cure forever peeps!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihSGDY-mbhA&feature=youtu.be
or check out THAT^^ video its really awesome.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
My family, what were like, and what matters to us
My Dad: Tim, he's a phys ed. teacher and he loves to coach basketball. he has seven other brothers and sisters whom i love very much. one of his sister died when she was five, she was hit by a car and died instantly. RIP aunt michelle
My Mom: Amy, she's a nurse and she works really really hard and im so proud of her. she has two other brothers one named tod and the other named thomas, but thomas died of a brain deffect when he was just a little baby. RIP uncle thomas
My brother: Kellen, hes seventeen years old and were pretty tight. i never know if hes going up or down or left or right. hes gone quite a bit but sometimes he can be quite funny. sometimes.
My kitty: Tiger Lilly, theres not much too say about her. shes pretty lazy. shes a princess. nuff said.
Like most teenagers i get aggravated with my mom and i feel like my dad always has to be right. when i was little i used to think my parents were flawless...as i grew older i realized they are far from it. but i also realized nobody is flawless. im not flawless, youre not flawless, barak obama isnt flawless. the only real person who was never flawless is Mary or Jesus. i dont mean to sound cliche about that or anything. i am a strong catholic too and since ive grown older my faith has grown stronger.
sorry this post was kind of serious. like. really serious. probably kind of depressed the crap out of all of you. that would be gross though. i hope this wasnt so depressing it made you poop. okay haha anyways.....i laugh at my own jokesss soooo i hope you pee yourself at them. jay kay. im really not that funny you flatter me. hah. yeah. kay. so.
thats my kitty i hope you think shes cute cause i do ;)
TALK TO YA LATER ALLIGATOR :)
My Mom: Amy, she's a nurse and she works really really hard and im so proud of her. she has two other brothers one named tod and the other named thomas, but thomas died of a brain deffect when he was just a little baby. RIP uncle thomas
My brother: Kellen, hes seventeen years old and were pretty tight. i never know if hes going up or down or left or right. hes gone quite a bit but sometimes he can be quite funny. sometimes.
My kitty: Tiger Lilly, theres not much too say about her. shes pretty lazy. shes a princess. nuff said.
Like most teenagers i get aggravated with my mom and i feel like my dad always has to be right. when i was little i used to think my parents were flawless...as i grew older i realized they are far from it. but i also realized nobody is flawless. im not flawless, youre not flawless, barak obama isnt flawless. the only real person who was never flawless is Mary or Jesus. i dont mean to sound cliche about that or anything. i am a strong catholic too and since ive grown older my faith has grown stronger.
sorry this post was kind of serious. like. really serious. probably kind of depressed the crap out of all of you. that would be gross though. i hope this wasnt so depressing it made you poop. okay haha anyways.....i laugh at my own jokesss soooo i hope you pee yourself at them. jay kay. im really not that funny you flatter me. hah. yeah. kay. so.
thats my kitty i hope you think shes cute cause i do ;)
Things that bug me as a person, and as a teenager
1. When my door is closed, and you come into my room, when you leave and don't close the dang door the way it was before you came.
2. Lawn gnomes.
3. Those silly commercials where everyone is happy and it's so unreal
4. when people say the word "retard"
5. when guys expect girls to make the first move
6. people who try and be cool to impress other people
7. pimples
8. the "twilight" series
9. flannel and plaid
10. when teachers say they "communicate" with eachother but you have 3 huge tests all on one day
11. when girls post pictures of their bodies online and no ones wants to see them flaunt around their skinny little figures. we get it. they're pretty and a size zero.
12. when people make out in public. it's like. get a room.
13. video games
14. people who drive around with their windows rolled down and their music too loud
15. boys who wear skinny jeans
16. teens who do drugs/tobacco
17. Christmas music
SOME THINGS I LOVE AS A TEENAGER:
1. being myself
2. wool socks and long spandex
3. kool aid jammers
4. those days when everything goes rigt
5. that moment in sports when you score and you just wanna kiss yourself
6. the new York Yankees
7. texting. I'd die without it.
8. spread the word to end the word
9. girlpower2cure
10. Adam sandler
11. the rugrats and hey Arnold!
12. summer
13. marthas vineyard
14. singing in the shower
15. aviator sunglasses
16. hippos
17. juicy fruit gum
18. being able to count the boys I've kissed on one hand
19. chocolate
20. shooting stars
21. saranac lake red storm
22. being a coaches daughter
23. jewelry
24. people who smile when you see them
25. when you make eye contact in a conversation
26. fez from that 70s show
27. GOD!
2. Lawn gnomes.
3. Those silly commercials where everyone is happy and it's so unreal
4. when people say the word "retard"
5. when guys expect girls to make the first move
6. people who try and be cool to impress other people
7. pimples
8. the "twilight" series
9. flannel and plaid
10. when teachers say they "communicate" with eachother but you have 3 huge tests all on one day
11. when girls post pictures of their bodies online and no ones wants to see them flaunt around their skinny little figures. we get it. they're pretty and a size zero.
12. when people make out in public. it's like. get a room.
13. video games
14. people who drive around with their windows rolled down and their music too loud
15. boys who wear skinny jeans
16. teens who do drugs/tobacco
17. Christmas music
SOME THINGS I LOVE AS A TEENAGER:
1. being myself
2. wool socks and long spandex
3. kool aid jammers
4. those days when everything goes rigt
5. that moment in sports when you score and you just wanna kiss yourself
6. the new York Yankees
7. texting. I'd die without it.
8. spread the word to end the word
9. girlpower2cure
10. Adam sandler
11. the rugrats and hey Arnold!
12. summer
13. marthas vineyard
14. singing in the shower
15. aviator sunglasses
16. hippos
17. juicy fruit gum
18. being able to count the boys I've kissed on one hand
19. chocolate
20. shooting stars
21. saranac lake red storm
22. being a coaches daughter
23. jewelry
24. people who smile when you see them
25. when you make eye contact in a conversation
26. fez from that 70s show
27. GOD!
Kelly. my OTHER sissy
Now that i told you people about rachel i better tell you people about kelly. shes rachels ACTUAL sister. im just rachel and kelly's chosen sister out of friendship. if you got that.
anyways. kelly is like. a funny little girl.
if she had a pony she'd name it humphrey.
sometimes she gets hot flashes and takes off her pants.
i really like her. if i was turtle i'd name myself turdy.
anyways kelly and i share spanish, home ec, ela, and social studies together every day. its pretty sick nasty. we like talking about our other "friends" and how they annoy us. just kidding. we like our other friends too. sometimes we stalk people on facebook. its all good. were regular people. sometimes.
again. this is us. right up there^^^^^^ oh yes yes were snazzy. you love us. you know it.
anyways. kelly is like. a funny little girl.
if she had a pony she'd name it humphrey.
sometimes she gets hot flashes and takes off her pants.
i really like her. if i was turtle i'd name myself turdy.
anyways kelly and i share spanish, home ec, ela, and social studies together every day. its pretty sick nasty. we like talking about our other "friends" and how they annoy us. just kidding. we like our other friends too. sometimes we stalk people on facebook. its all good. were regular people. sometimes.
Rachel my sissy
SOOOOO i have this friend
her name is rachel.
shes alright.
just kidding. shes ama-zah-zing. like freaking awesome.
her and i have a huge friendship thats like. big. its like. big. most the time we joke around about stuff. such as melon. the ryans. her happy little daddy. the vineyard. BFB. its pretty cool. were the coolest people in the world. maybe even cooler. were cooler than the flip side of your pillow. thats right. did i mention rachel is a nun? except shes destined for melon. its pretty confusing. anyways. i hope you enjoyed this lovely post about my sissy bob. i mean rachel.
hey rachel can i have your number i lost mine? :)
thats us riggggggggggghtt up thurrr ^^^^^ jealous arent you? oh. i know.
her name is rachel.
shes alright.
just kidding. shes ama-zah-zing. like freaking awesome.
her and i have a huge friendship thats like. big. its like. big. most the time we joke around about stuff. such as melon. the ryans. her happy little daddy. the vineyard. BFB. its pretty cool. were the coolest people in the world. maybe even cooler. were cooler than the flip side of your pillow. thats right. did i mention rachel is a nun? except shes destined for melon. its pretty confusing. anyways. i hope you enjoyed this lovely post about my sissy bob. i mean rachel.
hey rachel can i have your number i lost mine? :)
WOOOHOOO
Okay guys. So just to let you know the "!!!!!!!" things in my blog are explamation points. i know what youre thinking. they look like Ls. i know they do. just bear with me cause i really like all the rest of the font. KAY.
SO. im sorry im posting again cause its only been like 2 seconds since my last post but i really like this and i also just wanted to write something with my bad grammar and all. you know me. IM CUTE stop bugging me you dip head. just kidding. i love you all. i mean. you all is probably just like 2 people but come ONN i dont even care haha. alright. so i wrote a poem last night and i know you all just wanna hear it so so so so bad. kay. here it is:
my life is like a basketball.
i get picked up and thrown around
my voice is just a bounce
never to be heard by real people.
never to be powerful
or even wanted.
i hit the ground, but i jump back up
only to hit the ground once again.
but wait
there's that magical moment
swoosh
i went through the net
the crowd cheers
im proud of myself for once
i start falling down
down
faster & faster
bounce
bounce
bounce
so thats my poem. i hope you guys like it. you might think its lame. if you do well then you can go dry hump a cactus cause i like it. i guess the point of it is that maybe we might keep falling down, but the thing is sometimes theres good things that happen too. and even if we fall really really hard, were always gonna come back up. so dont underestimate yourself, even if sometimes you feel like your voice is worthless. cause its not.
as i sit here typing this my brother and his friend are right across the room watching some ESPN. im not interested. theyre getting ready for a party and everyone is coming here in fifteen minutes. oh. joy. its not that i dont love my brother and all the hot friends he brings home...(not many are hot though) i just wish they would pay more attention to me. wait no thats selfish. wait no. but its true? excuse me for ramabling on about the stupidest thing like you guys are like OHEMGEE what heck is she talking about.
IM GONNA LEAVE NOW.
PEACE OUT GIRL SCOUT. :)
SO. im sorry im posting again cause its only been like 2 seconds since my last post but i really like this and i also just wanted to write something with my bad grammar and all. you know me. IM CUTE stop bugging me you dip head. just kidding. i love you all. i mean. you all is probably just like 2 people but come ONN i dont even care haha. alright. so i wrote a poem last night and i know you all just wanna hear it so so so so bad. kay. here it is:
my life is like a basketball.
i get picked up and thrown around
my voice is just a bounce
never to be heard by real people.
never to be powerful
or even wanted.
i hit the ground, but i jump back up
only to hit the ground once again.
but wait
there's that magical moment
swoosh
i went through the net
the crowd cheers
im proud of myself for once
i start falling down
down
faster & faster
bounce
bounce
bounce
so thats my poem. i hope you guys like it. you might think its lame. if you do well then you can go dry hump a cactus cause i like it. i guess the point of it is that maybe we might keep falling down, but the thing is sometimes theres good things that happen too. and even if we fall really really hard, were always gonna come back up. so dont underestimate yourself, even if sometimes you feel like your voice is worthless. cause its not.
as i sit here typing this my brother and his friend are right across the room watching some ESPN. im not interested. theyre getting ready for a party and everyone is coming here in fifteen minutes. oh. joy. its not that i dont love my brother and all the hot friends he brings home...(not many are hot though) i just wish they would pay more attention to me. wait no thats selfish. wait no. but its true? excuse me for ramabling on about the stupidest thing like you guys are like OHEMGEE what heck is she talking about.
IM GONNA LEAVE NOW.
PEACE OUT GIRL SCOUT. :)
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